(A Past Bride’s Guide to Not Freaking Out)

First of all — AH! Congratulations, you are ENGAGED!
Take a second. Stare at your ring. Yep… actually do it. Take 14 more pictures of it in different lighting. Call your mom. Call your best friend. Stare at that picture of your proposal that I know you want to make your screensaver so bad (and hope you do.)

You are getting married! And entering the most magical era of your life… your bridal era! That is something worth celebrating in every ounce of the word. 

BUT, I get it. It’s also a bit overwhelming. If you’re anything like most couples (or like how I was when I got engaged), the minute it becomes official, your brain goes from “OMG WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” to “Wait… what do we do now?” in about five  seconds.

Don’t stress — this is your official walk-through of what to do first, what actually matters, and what you can put off until later. Next steps incoming. Deep breath. You got this!

1. Celebrate. And I mean it, celebrate!

You wouldn’t believe how many couples skip this because they feel like they need to sprint into planning mode immediately.
You just got ENGAGED! You’ve waited for this your whole life. Allow yourself to bask in that and celebrate it. 

Have a date night. Pop some champagne. Order fries at midnight. Call the people who would be offended if they saw it on Instagram first.
This is your moment — let it feel special before you begin the logistics of wedding planning.

2. Talk About Your Wedding Vision Together 

It’s so important to talk with your new fiance and be aligned on what you each envision. You both want it to feel special, and catered to you! To FEEL like you! Grab some snacks, your Pinterest boards, and make it a fun date night convo. Now is a really fun time to take some screenshots and make a mood board! (Try using a template on Canva.) It will help your bridal party and vendors catch the vision later on! 

Here are some questions to ask each other to get started:

Do you want a big or small wedding?
Dreamy ballroom? Backyard? Destination in Italy? Mountain vows? Micro-wedding?

What season feels right?
Do you like the idea of a fall wedding? Are you willing to get married in the winter when it is cold? Do you want it to be indoor or outdoor? What is ideal for your relationship and your people?

What are your non-negotiables?
For some it’s photos… for others it’s food. For me, it was my photographer and videographer. For my husband, it was to leave our reception in a white lamborghini, LOL. For others, it’s party vibes. Or keeping it under a certain budget. No wrong answers! Just talk about it! Throw it all out on the table!

This conversation will save you SO much stress and hurt feelings later, I promise. Be willing to compromise with each other. This is the most important day for BOTH of you!  

3. Create a Realistic Budget (boring but essential — like the dishes)

I know. No one gets excited about this part. It actually was the part that stressed me out the most sometimes. But your budget determines literally everything else, so let’s make it painless.

• Decide what you can contribute.
• Decide if anyone else is contributing.
• If your parents are kindly contributing, and your fiance’s as well, decide all together who will contribute to what. 
• List out your priorities and put more budget toward what you care about, not what the industry says you “should” care about. There are no rules!!! This is YOUR wedding. Do it how you want to!
  

Your wedding = your rules.

4. Choose a Date Range (not a specific day yet)

Venues book fast — like scary fast — especially in Utah.
Instead of being fixed on one exact date, choose a flexible range in the beginning:

• “Sometime in September 2026”
• “A winter wedding next January—February”
• “A Friday or Sunday in early summer”

This makes the next step so much easier. It’s helpful to choose a date once you know you can lock in the venue that you want. 

5. Start Touring Venues (your first major vendor!)

Your venue sets the tone for the whole wedding — the vibe, the budget, the colors, the timeline, the photo ops, everything.

Pick 3–5 venues that match your style and start booking tours.

Pro tip from someone who’s filmed a lot of weddings:
Ask what’s included. Chairs? Tables? Cleanup? Rain plan? Getting-ready spaces? Hidden fees? Does the venue require you to use their preferred vendors? If so, who are they (and do YOU like them)? Not all venues are created equal, and sometimes they can be a little sneaky about what you can and can’t do. 

6. Book Your Photographer + Videographer Early (we go FAST)

This isn’t because I’m biased. It’s seriously true: the best photographers and videographers often book around 8-12 months out, especially on Saturdays.

If capturing the moments, the emotions, and the raw details matters to you (which I hope it does)…book your visual team early.

We set the tone for your day, help with your timeline, and honestly become your wedding day comfort humans. We are there to make everything easier on you! And trust me… you will never regret investing in photo and video. You might regret not investing in it. You are investing so much time, heart, and money into your wedding… and if you don’t invest in photo and video, it just fades into memory without any proper remembering it. And the fading happens fast. Most of my brides post-wedding say this was the best thing they invested in!

Check out my Home Page for more info on my approach to wedding films! If you feel like we are a good fit, I’d love for you to inquire about one! Let’s chat!

7. Start Building Your Vendor “Dream Team“

After the venue, photo, and video, move on to:

• Planner or day-of coordinator
• Florist
• Caterer
• DJ or band
• Hair + makeup
• Officiant
• Decor/rentals
• Cake or dessert artist
• Guest entertainment (like a photo booth) if that’s something you want!
  

You don’t need to book them all today. You just need to know who you love. The vendors that you hire on your wedding day really do set it up for success. They either help calm you, or contribute to the chaos. So choose wisely and choose people you know you can 100% rely on/trust! 

(Note: when you book my Heirloom or Reverie film packages, you get my Vendor Referral List!)

8. Choose Your Bridal Party!

This is either going to feel so easy, or… so hard. For me, I literally had 15 bridesmaids because I simply couldn’t narrow it down more than that. But you know what? THAT IS OKAY! There are no rules! You can have 20 bridesmaids if you want to! 

And my hot take is this: you don’t have to have an equal about of bridesmaids and groomsmen! Who cares if your bridal line isn’t balanced in photos! I’m not really sure when people started favoring aesthetic on wedding days over authenticity. But it’s a real thing happening in the industry right now. 

So just remember: choose the people that will make you feel the most YOU on your wedding day. Your day one’s. Not the friend that you feel pressured to invite to be a bridesmaid, but won’t talk to you for two years after. I am talking your PEOPLE. Your lifers. This is who you want standing by your side. 

And if you have to think too hard about whether to invite someone into your bridal party… maybe they shouldn’t be part of it. 

9. Make the Guest List (and prepare for chaos)

This part is… an emotional journey.
It’s okay if you and your fiancé have different ideas — everyone does. And it’s okay if there is a bit of disagreement that happens with parents. It’s normal. 

Start with categories:

• Absolute must-haves (bridal party and closest family)
• Immediate family
• Close friends
• Extended family
• Work friends
• Plus-ones
  

And PLEASE remember:
You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to keep it small.
You’re allowed to not invite your dad’s coworker’s cousin who met you once in 2015.

Who will help ADD to your wedding day, not take away from it? Who will help make it special? Who can you not imagine getting married without? 

This is where you focus on the fact that this is YOUR day. You shouldn’t worry about who may see you differently because you hypothetically chose a smaller wedding and they weren’t invited. It’s not about them this time. It’s about you and your partner. You get to decide! Repeat after me: “We! Are! Not! People! Pleasers! On! Our! Wedding! Day!”

10. Start a Wedding Email + Binder 

You’ll get 52,398 emails.
Create a dedicated wedding email to keep everything together. OR, a specific folder in your personal email where ALL wedding emails go to if you don’t want to create a whole separate one. Also — keep a folder, binder, or Notes app section with:

• Vendor contacts
• Payment dates
• Your mood board 
• Timeline notes
• A wedding to-do list to keep you on track
  

Organization = stress relief. Get it all out of your brain and onto paper. 

11. Enjoy Being Engaged (the whole point!)

This season goes by FAST.
Have weekly date nights where you do not talk about the wedding.
Take engagement photos.
Celebrate milestones.
Watch cheesy wedding shows.
Dream together.

You don’t have to have it all figured out in the first month — no one does.

And in case no one has told you this yet:You’re doing great. This is going to be beautiful. Don’t overthink too much. Enjoy every step of this season. It should be fun!